Resentment and unforgiveness can be destructive things to let stay in your heart.  You no doubt taught that to your children and maybe you even give that advice to your grandchildren to help them get passed their childhood arguments and petty squabbles they have with their siblings.

The amazing thing is that by the time you have reached the senior citizen stage of life as you have, you probably are carrying your own fair share of resentments and things you cannot forgive that is nothing more than left over baggage from life.  And learning to forgive the offenses of the past and “let it go” can mean the difference between living a happy and peaceful retirement life or living in a nonstop treadmill of brooding about things that happened long ago.

It is strange that we are able to give advice about forgiving others to our children and grandchildren but so often, it’s us who have trouble letting things go.  We rationalize holding on to resentment because the offense is much more grievous in adult life than the little things children pout about when they become resentful.  But realistically, to the child that offense is just as serious as the one you are holding in your heart.  And the skill of learning to forgive that offense and release the resentment from your heart is one that we need to learn as much as the children do.

The truth is that resentment and unforgiveness doesn’t accomplish anything.  Sometimes we think of the moment of offense when a boss, a coworker, a friend or a relative offended us and we vow that we “will never forget what she did.”  That vow is more a death sentence for you than it is any punishment for the one who offended you. 

I have heard it said that resentment has a way of “growing legs and following you around”.  It’s an apt image because long after the offense is over, that resentment can live on in your heart taunting you and making you miserable.  Meanwhile the one that offended you no doubt has no idea you are angry at all and is going about his or her way happily.  Your resentment accomplishes nothing except stealing your peace from you and making you bitter and obsessive which is not an attractive trait in Grandma or Grandpa or anyone for that matter.

By isolating that feeling of resentment and simmering anger and seeing that it really has nothing at all to do with the original offense, your rational side takes over and steals the offense from the emotional side that continues to vow never to forgive.  Forgiveness is not about saying what happened is ok.  Forgiveness is about saying that negative event will no longer have power over you and you choose to say, “It doesn’t matter any more.”

Resentment is a poison that can get inside you and debilitate you for life.  In a way, by continuing to hold that resentment, you also continue to give that enemy power to hurt you day after day forever.  So in a way, forgiveness is a way of stealing from your enemy or the one that hurt you any further power to hurt you more.  So see it as an offensive weapon where you simply deny access to your precious emotional energy to any past offense.

By learning to let it go, you are actually doing something good for you.  You will be happier, less burdened and it will actually help your health.  And you will no longer be a hypocrite when you sit down with your grandchildren and counsel them to “Live and let live and let it go.”  And when they see you modeling healthy forgiveness, you will empower them as well.  And that makes it all worthwhile.

There are so many different types of communities available that selecting the one to best meet your needs can be a very daunting task. This task can be especially daunting if you’re currently a senior looking to live in a senior community that will meet all your needs as you transition into an elder citizen.

But this whole extensive planning process can be made simpler by following a few standard steps.

The steps involved in choosing the senior community to best meet your needs, your lifestyle, and your pocketbook can be broken down into four steps.

These four steps are as follows.

1. Choose the type of community you need.
2. Search the types of communities available in the area you would like to live.
3. Visit the communities that interest you.
4. Narrow down your list and carefully evaluate the quality, value, and services available by each of these communities. Use your conclusions to make your final choice.

CHOOSE THE TYPE OF COMMUNITY

Carefully review the explanations of the five most common types of seniors communities explained in the previous section. If adult day care is also an option, consider this as well.

Determine the level of care you require based on your needs. Compare your needs to what you will be paying for the desired service. In most cases, the more help you require with your daily tasks, the higher level of care you’ll need.

To help figure out your current needs as well as the needs you might need in the future, make yourself a list. Ask yourself the following questions to help you make your list.

1 Do I need help with any of the basic activities required for daily living? Basic activities include eating, bathing, dressing, or using the bathroom.

2 Do I want help with any basic activities, even if I’m at the stage in my life where I don’t need this type of help yet? Basic activities such as these include cooking, cleaning, shopping, paying bills, or getting to appointments.

3 Do I have health problems where I currently need additional care?

4 Do I have health problems where I will need additional care in the future? Additional care services can be anything as simple as help using eye drops due to arthritis to taking care of bladder catheters. Other additional care services could include help or reminders to take medications, getting oxygen, monitoring diabetes, or taking care of colostomy catheters.

5 What can I afford? How much do I want to spend on my housing?

6 Based on my needs and wants, what is most important to me? Is price the most important factor? Service and amenities? Is location extremely important to me? Do I need a place where I can take my pet along?

A senior community is simply an alternate living arrangement for senior citizens and elder citizens based on needs and wants. A senior community can be something as simple as an area set aside for completely healthy, fully functional adults of a certain age. (Age varies from community to community.) Such communities are oasises from everyday life and provide an assortment of activities that cater to seniors.

Often these types of seniors communities are set up in warm areas like Florida or California. Some offer apartments. Other require residents to purchase a condominium. Still others allow residents to purchase their own homes, but they must follow the rules of the community in regards to how they maintain their homes. Options like set life leases are also available in some senior communities. Other senior communities cater to the needs of elder citizens. These types of senior communities include health care help, as well as assisted activities.

The most important thing to keep in mind when understanding what a senior community is, is that a senior community is much more than a nursing home. While it’s true that a nursing home is a type of senior community, there are plenty of other senior communities not considered nursing homes. Avoid becoming trapped in the mindset that a lot of people have when considering senior communities. Don’t write off a senior community because you have the idea that they’re places where old people go to

Retirement is the ideal time to get your life in complete order and take the time to make sure everything is just how you want it to be. Seniors have plenty of time on their hands to make plans and follow through with them instead of leaving jobs and tasks only half complete, which can serve to create an enduring mess that drives you insane but you lack the time to actually fix. Now as a senior you have all the time you actually need to make your life the way you have always wanted it to be, so why not start with your home? Maybe you have enough disposable wealth to completely fund it without having to get financial help.

Giving your home a complete makeover can give you an immense sense of achievement and satisfaction. The results will be around for a long time so you can actually enjoy them, and the fruits of your labour can also revive your sense of being. Revamping your home gives you chance to let your creative juices flow. You can experiment with colours and designs of your own choosing, whether they happen to be unique because you have designed them or you have chosen existing designs to tweak to suit your own tastes and preferences. It may be worth bringing outside designers into your home to help you rework it or at least give you advice on what would go best and where. However, if you choose to do it entirely by yourself, then good luck to you.

You can use the Internet and interior design magazines to give you ideas. There are also useful how to sections on various websites that you can use to complete part of your new home yourself. There is nothing you cannot find out how to do out there, and all thanks to the era of information and technology! Do It Yourself websites tend to give information on basic tasks, such as installing a panelled or tile floor, installing a new shower and putting up furnishings like curtain rails and coving. However, you should always stop short of any integral work because that should be left up to an expert. Only experts who have trained in their field for years before qualifying should carry out rewiring and plumbing.

There are thousands of things you can do to redecorate your home, from redecorating the spare bedroom to having a conservatory installed to look out over your back yard. If you do insist on having a hand in the renovations then it is advisable to come up with a strict timetable. Not only will this ensure that any work is fully completed in a timely manner, it will also ensure that you do not do too much and put your health on the line. Be sensible about the goals that you set yourself because a senior body is not as young as you would like to believe. It is easy enough to strain your back or pull muscles that may take some time to heal if you push yourself too hard, so make sure that you only do as much as you can. Having a timetable will also make it possible to rearrange some tasks if necessary but keep the whole project on course.

It’s a dark side of being a senior citizen that you are going to face a higher incidence of people dying than you may have seen in other eras of your life.  While we all have the experience of someone we know passing away from time to time throughout life, because of the stage of life we are in as senior citizens, it is going to be more common as we move along in years.

The first big adjustment is when you start to see friends, relatives or others in your apartment complex or assisted living center pass away with some regularity.  When you are going to more funerals than weddings or baby showers, you need some coping skills for dealing it.  How often have you heard another senior citizen complain, “My friends keep on passing away”?  It’s a fair question and one all senior citizens have to deal with at one time or another.

The real reason why that question has a sense of alarm is that the passing of a friend reminds us of our mortality and because you are in the age group where this is the only step in life beyond where you are, death seems to be closing in around you all the time.  So what coping mechanisms can you use to combat the depression and the sense that the end is near for you?

First of all, when a friend or close relative dies, don’t let the first thought be about your own grief and other emotional reactions.  Think about the widow, and the children of your friend and what they are going through.  Ask yourself, “What can I do to be a comfort to the family?”  In that way you are focusing outside yourself and on others and that is an excellent therapy for not letting the grim reaper steal vital time away from you through fear.

Secondly, don’t try to rationalize the passing of someone else.  It’s really easy to explain it away by saying, “Well he didn’t take care of himself like I do so that’s why he was taken early.”  That kind of thinking is paranoid and attempting to assign significance that isn’t there.  You really have no idea why one person passes on earlier than another one.  There aren’t any rules for this kind of thing.  Death doesn’t take one because he isn’t as worthy of more life than another.  Giving in to speculative explanations for why your friend passed away is what mythology is made of.  And it is really a form of selfishness because you are looking to show to yourself that you are not going to be the next one to go because you live right.

When it comes right down to it, really only one thing will give you comfort about the passing of a friend and that trend of people your age passing away so often.  That is to face your mortality and to come to grips with your eternal outcome.  This isn’t a sermon but many of us put off trying to understand the role of religion in our lives and whether there is any credibility to the concept of an afterlife.

Better men and women than you and I have given these thoughts some serious consideration.   The important thing is that you get to a place that you feel confident about your eternal outcome and that you feel you can go to the grave in peace because your spiritual “affairs are in order.”  And if you can get to that place, you will not be so alarmed at the passing of someone close to you.

One of the things many of us do as we dream of the life of retirement is to enjoy some adventures and vacations that you may have put off when raising the kids.  When you have those little ones in your life, you don’t want to miss a single summer when you can take them to Disneyworld or to discover America with them so you can make memories with your family.  So if your library of vacation pictures is mostly with Mickey and Goofy or on a huge water slide at Sea World, those are memories worth keeping forever.

But now that the kids are off with families of their own and you are in these years that are just for you. So now its time for the vacation you have been waiting for.  Its time for a vacation that is an adventure but also one in which you wallow in the lap of luxury.  It time for a vacation that you see exotic things but never have a need that some eager servant isn’t there to fulfill. 

And there is no other vacation thrill that meets this dream of the perfect retirement vacation than to take a cruise.   A cruise of the Caribbean can give you the chance to see exotic locations and be just as adventurous as you want to be.  I know when I first thought of being on a boat for 10 days, it seemed like the most boring prospect possible.  But there just isn’t any time to be bored on a Caribbean cruise.

Even without getting off the ship, your cruise operators will be there to provide you with swimming, shuffleboard, deep sea fishing and just about any kind of amusement you can think of.  But since this is your time to kick back and relax now that you are in your retirement years, no worries if you want nothing more than to lay on deck and watch the world go by.  Your cruise servants will just make sure your drink is never empty or just leave you to read Moby Dick or just have the best nap you have ever enjoyed.

Are there any tips you should be aware of before going on your Caribbean cruise?  Well you are going out to sea so if you think sea sickness is likely, see your doctor before leaving and take your meds before getting on board so that kind of discomfort doesn’t ruin a single moment of your fun during the trip.

If there is any real danger to be aware of it is overindulgence.  You will be provided with such a feast of food, drink and party opportunities that if you don’t pace yourself, you could wear yourself out in the first few days out to sea.  So get your rest and watch your consumption.  Be aware that the rich foods that you are enjoying so much might be a bit much for your constitution.   You can get your exercise with that morning turn around the deck or in an invigorating swim in the on board pool. 

To maximize your enjoyment, do some research up front about where you will be stopping so you know what to enjoy and what kind of shopping you want to be sure to do while you are there.   Many of the shore leave opportunities on your Caribbean cruise offer fun and exotic things to discover that you can enjoy in advance with a bit of reading and study about the native lands that are your playgrounds for a few days on your cruise.

You can easily get “hooked” on the excitement and fun of a Caribbean cruise.  You certainly deserve to be pampered and have an adventure now that you have reached that plateau in your life of retirement.  So get out there and have a great time.  And take lots of pictures.  They will give you just as much joy as the ones of you standing there with Mickey and Goofy.

You can find very reasonable ticket prices Here!

If you could sit down with a pencil and paper and list what the top five goals most people would put for their senior citizen years, what do you suppose would go on that list?  Financial security would probably rank pretty high.  And time with family would get good marks.  But just based on the thing that seems to be most on the minds of senior citizens, the thing that would probably rank the highest would be good health, avoiding injury and continued long life.

Now if you attend a seminar in good health for seniors, usually the things that get covered are diet issues and exercise.  But more and more, research into what seniors are most successful and consistently live the longest and have the lowest incidence of health problems are not the ones who statistically work the hardest to observe strict diet and exercise guidelines.  In other words, the senior citizens that are the most successful at being the best senior citizens ever are the ones who obsess the least about being successful.

Much has been made of “the power of positive thinking” lately and some of it is probably a bunch of hype.  But this research on the effect of attitude on how well senior citizens do mentally, emotional and physically does lend some credibility that a senior citizens outlook on life seem to have a great deal to do not only with their quality of life but how frequently you get sick and on longevity.

Part of why this is has to do with expectations.  If you enter your senior years with the expectation that you will be ill more often, will experience periods of low energy and will decline quickly over your senior years, that is probably what is going to happen to you. 

This is not just because the thoughts themselves have any power like the positive thinking people would have us believe.  But if each day you wake up anticipating poor health and low stamina, you won’t be as active during the day.  You won’t want to socialize with others and you won’t have goals and ambitions.  And these are the kinds of things that keep people of any age going.  By “giving up” to the onset of old age, we send a signal to our minds and to our bodies that there will be no effort to stay fit and healthy.  And because there is no effort in those directions, poor health and low energy results.

Some call this the “self fulfilling prophecy” syndrome.  Senior citizens that think they will do well, have an active lifestyle and continue to enjoy good health are the ones that do just as well as they think they will.  But their counterparts seem to be able to “think themselves ill”.

There is a lot of cause and effect looking at your life with confidence and ambition can have.  And it has been frequently shown that senior citizens who are active, who get out and take on projects, spend time with others and refuse to let old age get them down are the ones that stay happy and healthy longer and have better quality of life throughout their retirement years.

Another paradox of the importance of attitude on the quality of life of a senior citizen has to do with thinking of others more than yourself.  Senior citizens who do volunteer work are active in helping others and who are always finding ways to bless the lives of family and friends also seem to be happier and more successful members of the senior community.  To state this simply, those who worry about others the most, benefit the most personally.  But those who worry about themselves the most have the most to worry about. 

The best way to turn around the effects of bad attitude and get a change of outlook is seek better companionship.  The old saying “misery loves company” is quite accurate.  So to get a better mental attitude, be with people who have good attitudes.  A positive and creative outlook on life is contagious.  And it’s worth the effort to change how you view your retirement life because to think negatively is only going to lead to problems.  But if your attitude says you will get the best from life, you will experience that and become the best senior citizen ever.

When you were thinking about the life you would live as a senior citizen, you may have held that old idea of sitting on a rocking chair and watching the world go by.  That silly idea for some reason seems like an ideal situation for people in their golden years.

But what is ideal for you from a quality of life point of view is to be an active and energetic senior citizen and not to see retirement as your time to stop moving about completely.  In fact, there are plenty of good reasons that you should get out and walk every day.  If you make it as much a part of your daily routine as your morning coffee, there are tons of great benefits that you will reap.

Of course, your kids and your doctor already been on you about the benefits of walking for your health. And those are valid to be sure.  Walking will keep your blood flowing, improve your circulation, do your appetite a world of good and keep your joints and muscles limber and exercised. 

What that means is that the more you walk, the longer you will be able to walk.  So if you see older seniors around your neighborhood or in your retirement apartment moving about in wheelchairs or walkers and you don’t like that prospect for yourself, then get out of that chair and get out there and walk.

But there are many benefits that making walking part of your lifestyle can bring your way that have nothing to do with health.  That tired out old phrase of “getting some fresh air” has more wisdom to it than you know.  As you continue to process your transition from a busy adult life to retirement life, there is a lot to think bout.  For good solid decision making, there is nothing better than a brisk walk with all the oxygen it will give to your brain.

You should make it policy never to make a decision late at night, after a few drinks or when you are upset if you have not gotten out of your home for a few days.  Hold that major decision for the walking trail. If you have good blood flow and your breathing is up giving you good oxygen to your thinking apparatus, you will be at your mental peak to make good decisions.

But let’s not overlook the social benefits of walking.  If you are a single senior citizen, to put it bluntly, walking is a great place to meet members of the opposite sex. And if you want to meet that senior gal that has the kind of spunk you have or that great guy who wants to live life to its fullest, you are going to meet those people out and about walking and staying active.  It sounds strange to say so, but the walking trails where senior citizens go the most are great “pick up” spots simply because it is so easy to join someone interesting on a walk and get to know them in a non-threatening manner.

Use some creativity in where you walk and when.   You can work a good walk in with an errand or to see a part of the city you always wanted to explore.  If you can still drive, get to know the many walking trails in town and become a regular there.  The younger people will get around you and they will get a big kick out of seeing you out there as well.

But more than that, you will get a big kick out of walking every day.   The endorphins from this exercise are a better high than your evening cocktail.  And that walk can be great fun and a time to meet new friends and have some interesting adventures as well.